Warning                                                                         LJ00171

Little Johnny is taking a walk in the woods and he walks by a lake. He looked in the water and saw a naked girl swimming.

She called to him to come on in. He ran away from there as fast as he could.

Later Little Johnny returned and the girl asked him why he had run away. He replied, "Mom told me that if I look at a naked girl, I will turn into stone. My dick had already become as hard as a rock!!





Giveaway                                                                       LJ00172

Teacher:  Johnny, if your father earned $100.00 and gave half of it to your mother, what would she have?

Little Johnny:  A heart attack!





Heaven                                                                           LJ00173

"I really worry that I shall never meet you in heaven Little Johnny," the teacher said.

"Oh, how come ?" Johnny replied, "What sin have you committed?"





Hi Johnny                                                                       LJ00174

Little Johnny is walking outside, and the neighbor lady says "Hi, Little Johnny", and she wiggles her little pinky at him.  Every day she does this.

Finally, Little Johnny asks just what is with this pinky business?

She says, "That's the size of your little pecker."

Little Johnny says, "Well that isn't very nice. After all, I don't go around saying "Hi Lady", as he stretches his mouth super wide open with his fingers.





High Cost Of Dating                                                      LJ00175

Worried that his son was spending too much money on dates, a Father asked the boy how much his last date had cost.

Johnny calculated a minute then replied, "Oh, about $15 or so I think."

"Well," said the Father, "I'm proud of you for finally coming up with an inexpensive evening."

"To be honest Dad," Johnny went on, "we'd have done more, but that was all the money she had."





Hitchin'                                                                          LJ00176

Little Johnny is walking down the street when a car pulls up.  The car door opens and a man says, "Hey little boy, I'll give you a piece of candy if you'll come in the car."

Little Johnny says..."Hell, If you give me the whole bag,  I'll come in your mouth!"





Homecoming                                                                  LJ00177

Lil' Johnny's Mother had been away a week at a N.O.W. convention and when she returned home, she was anxious to hear about his week.

"Well, one night we had a thunderstorm, and I was scared, so Daddy and me slept together." her son said.

"Johnny!" said the boy's French Au Pair, "Don't you mean 'Daddy and I ?'"

"No!" replied Johnny. "That was Thursday, I'm talking about Monday night."





Homework                                                                     LJ00178

"Johnny, did your Mother help you with your homework last night?" the teacher asked.

"No, she did it all," Little Johnny replied.





Horsie Ride                                                                    LJ00179

Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water.  Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act.

Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"

Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, agrees.

Little Johnny hops  on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping.

Little Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"





How Old Are You                                                          LJ00180

In a second grade sex education class, a little girl asks "Teacher, can my momma get pregnant?"

The teacher asks "How old is your mother?"

The little girl says "Forty."

The teacher says "Yes, Your mother could get pregnant."

The little girl asks "Can my big sister get pregnant?"

The teacher asks "How old is your sister?"

The little girl answers "Nineteen."

The teacher says "Oh my yes, your sister certainly could get pregnant."

The little girl asks, "Can I get pregnant?"

The teacher asks, "How old are you?"

The little girl says, "I'm seven years old."

The teacher says, "No, you can't get pregnant."

Little Johnny, behind the little girl,  gives her a poke and says "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about.